Enough IS Enough

Ronald is a very talented man. He has had a line-up of careers that many would envy (and from which some would run like the wind). He first came to see me at a turning point in his career -- he had no reason not to be successful, but seemed to be perched on the brink of doom at any moment in time. Being rather bright, the "therapy" part of his treatment become quick work. Over the months and years, despite seeming to continue to stumble and "splat" over success, he managed to nurture his romance into one most would admire and even express jealousy over. He joined a company that was hurting and helped it heal and become successful. His free time was filled with travel and writing and all sorts of fun things. After that, his visits were rapid updates that led to the "issue" or "problem" for which an "answer" was sought. It always seemed as if he handed me some phrase or concept that I could "tweak" just a tiny bit and hand back to him and which would become "THE ANSWER."

So what was so wrong this time? When Ronald came in for his "15,000 mile checkup" as he called our 3 or 4 times a year sessions, he told me he was looking to see if anything was really wrong. As he described the the wonderful trip to another continent which he had taken with family (complete with pictures that were perfect), he beamed with glee. As he talked about the time he spent roaming the streets of a foreign land meeting new-found old friends, he became more and more ebullient. Almost out of the blue, his lilting joy came to an abrupt halt as he said, "I'm scratching things off the list as fast as I can."

I paused to let the moment settle into the quiet, half out of not quite knowing what to say and one-quarter out of fearing he was feeling some sort of terminal sense. I finally broke the silence by asking him if that was such a bad thing. He seemed truly puzzled as though he had no idea. We continued to discuss his experiences and he felt as though he was filling with a sense of peace. Each of the things he had wiped from his list were things he swore he would do one day. He had done each of them and had done some for more than one day. Between what he had done and what he had on order to learn, he would have very full hobby time for many months to come. This, for Ronald, was not a bad thing. In fact, it was a source of ecstasy! Out of the blue, came the BS for the moment:

"Enough IS Enough!"

For Ronald, at that moment, not only was HE enough, but each item on his list was Enough. For many of us and for so much of our lives, we save our time, our money, our energy, our "stuff" and everything else for those special things on our "Bucket List" (The things we want to do before we "kick the bucket.") Far too many times, we either do them in a rush, unprepared emotionally or mentally and lament how we need to do them again and do them right. Or, even worse, we put them off until either they are no longer an option (How many of us never stood on the observation decks of the Twin Towers in New York City?) or WE are no longer an option. (My knees won't ever climb Mt. Everest!) Ronald had stared a journey from a very stagnant place in his life where nothing was ever good enough because he found himself to never be good enough. As he wrestled with those demons, he learned to accept himself and to accept his strengths and his flaws. When he last sat across from me, he seemed to really see that HE WAS ENOUGH.

As a result, he ate healthy meals -- which were enough, but not excessive. He traveled and saw sights he dreamed of seeing and soaked up every morsel of every sense of every stop he made. When he moved on, despite wanting to return, his trip was Enough. While he dreamed of going back to these places, what he dreamed was another, new trip, not the one he had already taken-- THAT one was Enough. His time with his closest ones was (most of the time) just enough, leaving room for finding time for more, yet always being a satiating experience. If he was still learning a new musical instrument and needed more practice, the rough tune he could squeeze out was, in itself, Enough. As this realization permeated his being, I had to ask the obvious: "Can you add more to the list?"

The wide-eyed answer joyfully erupted, "YES!" His hopes, his future and his joy seemed to soar.

Enough IS enough!