Recently, I had the privilege of attending the inaugural meeting of the Canadian Federation of Physicians Health Programs in Vancouver, BC. I have “borrowed” a phrase that was used repeatedly during that conference for my title. In its best practice, Recovery is a “wellspring of resilience.” I strongly agree and have experienced that. However, the Conference this week challenged me to look deeper into this concept.
How do I define “resilience”? Often, especially in the first years of Recovery, resilience seems to be relegated to the capacity to return to some magical baseline when the realities of life, addiction and Recovery knock us down. This is both true and dangerous. For one early in Recovery, the satisfaction found in NOT losing ground is, indeed, not only a major source of serenity but also one of the earliest evidences of “The Promises.” These moments of connecting with a sense of success are both useful and essential mile markers to note, claim and collect. They must not be lost. However, they are only the groundwork of building the foundation of recovery.
I believe that a key word here is “wellspring.” Taken to its fullest extent, Recovery is a source of unlimited, unrestricted growth, renewal and serenity, even in times of chaos and struggle. This requires that our entire perspective on Recovery have a paradigm of health and wellness. In order to do this, I am learning over and over that we have to reframe the entire course of our journey.
First, we have to begin to see the powerless and unmanageability as opportunity, invitation and, in essence, gift. While it is easy to celebrate the escape from the prison of addiction, many times, the pain, grief and loss of moving through the first five of the Twelve Steps cast a dark shadow on those years and events. In addition, the arduous task of turning the tide of the chaos, damage and devastation. Many times, we rely on the Serenity Prayer as though it was a magical incantation that would send out a host of sparkles to convert life into a colorful place of comfort and peace. Not so! It is only a reminder to pause in the struggle, assess the battles into which we pour our energy and know that our true empowerment comes from Acceptance. In reality, it is very difficult to find a gift in the process of wading out of the middle of the swamp in which we seem to have landed. The concept of a Wellspring of Resilience requires that we see the journey through the muck and mud of the swamp of unmanageability as an escape to a better place. That is precisely when we need to view “The Promises” as somewhat of a “postcard” from the mythical land to which we are headed, not the result that is expected to arrive in a moment.
Second, when we accept that Life itself is not a static, stale event, but an ongoing process, we can see the invitation to move through whatever current circumstances Recovery leads into our laps as a part of the process. If we can make this next shift, we can begin to see both Life and Recovery as a journey. Not only does this allow us to shift out of trying to “pass” the twelve tasks with some mystical “good grade,” but to see the Twelve Steps as a fluid process along which we flow back and forth, repeating components of each step each day. Thus, Life becomes a journey, filled with twists, turns, valleys, mountains, deserts, swamps, oceans, and plains. All of them are filled with unique forms of beauty, danger, serenity, and excitement. Our task is to keep moving on the journey, following the Higher Stars before us, within us and around us.
Finally, if we remain in contact with our Spiritual Center, having a sense of being guided along this journey, we develop a new understanding of “The Promises.” This understanding is not one that we “learn,” but one that we “come to know.” It’s a strange sense and experience, very difficult to explain. Much like height, maturity, gray hair and wrinkles, this “knowing” just seems to show up one day. We don’t see it coming and can’t force it to happen. It just comes. If we focus on the journey, the excitement, exhilaration, loss and healing and growth around us, we are able to be present on our journey and see that it is truly an Adventure. Doing so does not make the difficult times any easier. What it does is allows us to tap into that “Source” or Wellspring of Resilience that allows us not only to continue on the Adventurous Journey, but to rise above it. In doing so, we become guides and supports for others, almost inadvertently. (I believe that spontaneous, soaring experience is something reserved for the last of the Twelve Steps – Service. Yet, while the spontaneous experience “arrives” in the Twelfth Step, Service throughout Recovery is a key part of the foundation of sound recovery!)
What a wonderful Promise – if we just keep doing what is in front of us and be of service, the Source will be there! However, the concept of a Wellspring of Resilience is also an active process. Much like a spring of water, the wellspring of Recovery requires constant revisiting and attention. Without water, we dehydrate and die. In fact, without daily water (which we rarely drink in adequate amounts – recommended at ½ ounce per pound per day), our performance declines and our function is compromised. This has been tested in many venues. We would do well to pay attention to this as a concept in Recovery. We must constantly support and replenish our mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, vocational, and relational health, wellbeing and resilience.
The Wellspring of Resilience that is Recovery is available to us all every day. However, we must go to it, partake of it, and pause to allow it to nourish us, fill us and guide us. Here’s the catch – it lies deep within us, all around us, and, in most cases, can only be accessed through those who guide us.
Here’s hoping your journey is challenging, wonderful, and all that is promised!
(Half-fast apology - the first version of this went out as a comment in the Sante Center for Healing Quarterly Newsletter. Due to deadlines, it was imperfect - You're welcome, Marty - and I noticed some changes I wanted to make. So...here they are, in this format!)
Recovery is A Wellspring of Resilience
